How to win friends and influence people
Comments(1) I guess I’m not alone in feeling slightly uncomfortable when standing in a room of people we don’t know. Nobody wants to stand in the corner making everyone else wonder why they have no friends, but at the same time initiating conversation with strangers instils a certain fear. Maybe this stems from our tribal background in which encounters with strangers were relatively uncommon, and an inappropriate approach might severely reduce your chances of passing on your genes! Once the conversation is flowing, though, those fears usually drift away and afterwards you reflect on what you’d have missed out on if you hadn’t broken through your hermititus.
What if you have a goal in mind for these conversations, such as to persuade or build rapport? Then there’s an extra challenge - not just to keep the conversation flowing but also to steer it in a particular direction.
Of course, these are skills we’ve all been practising since we were born, but ones that we’re rarely consciously aware of. Although they’re crucially important to our lifelong success, we’re never taught these skills at school. The trouble is, that means that we tend to develop certain bad habits that impede our communication and give people the wrong impression, such as not making enough eye contact or standing with hunched shoulders. We tend to assume that some people are just generally much better than others at these things. I think that some people have personality traits that make it come more naturally, but also that with practice, we can learn how to behave so well that it becomes second nature.
I decided to make sure that the way I present myself allows my ideas to shine through, and enrolled on a series of training sessions that covered professional presentation and interpersonal skills. Through a series of practical exercises, we practised how to present ourselves effectively, both verbally and non-verbally, and how to understand others. We learnt how to stand, sit and speak in order to command respect and make ourselves heard. We looked at how to communicate effectively by understanding which type of person is listening and altering how we present the ideas appropriately. The non-verbal exercises were particularly remarkable, as they demonstrated just how much we can tell about what others are thinking by subtle clues in their body language.
More than anything, I feel this course has made me significantly more self-aware about how I act while talking to people, and empowered me to alter my style to suit the situation. This means that I can be a better manager and team member, who can understand, persuade and motivate more effectively. I am now more confident approaching unfamiliar business and social situations and with selling myself, my ideas and my business.
